Sleepless? Troubled? Lonely? Or merely an Introvert?

It really comes as some sort of imbalance. You know what they say about how it takes 21 days to adopt to a habit. well I think my 21 days of sleeping in the "wee hours" of the morning has reached a threashold of solidifying. I don't know how to explain it, could I refer to it as being sleepless? Or is my messed up life really that messed up. At first I couldnt sleep kept feelin like my late patner was in the house, well I still do. But I thought I d get over it...I am super resilient to the idea of counselling or psychology or whatever shrink stuff. I am too black for it. It is supposed to be Easter today but I feel like being with my son is enough. I am allergic to a lot of people. Maybe I am just an introvert or sensitive to being judged especially since I ve put on so much weight and people always make it a point to rub it in. I have noticed that I am more comfortable with people I don't know or see than I am with my own people. Wierd I know but I am being honest here. 3h02 is the time and I am wide away thinking about zilch.